Corrupt a Wish

Granted but you stroke out during your acceptance speech.

I wish I could text message to the USA.

Granted but you're already in the USA

I wish i could get perma-banned form here.

Granted, and they even give you a fantastic good-bye party, according to the PM.


I wish I could survive for 50 rounds on Nazi Zombies.

Granted, but your X-Box three red rings before it finishes loading back to the menu.

I wish I wasn't so pretty.

Granted, but you turn hideously ugly. Like I mean hideous. Vomit inducing ugly.

I wish I could travel more.

Granted, but you're handicapped. And blind.

I wish school wasn't starting for another month.

Granted, you're jailed for paedophilia.

I wish I had a bottomless can of beer.

Ok but it's light beer. Eww.

I wish for a bottomless, nonpoisonous, can of Dr. Pepper. That's already opened for me.

Granted, It is litterally bottomless, All the Dr.Pepper spills out and you cry yourself to sleep each night after.


I wish i had a fully loaded gun.

Granted, but only shoots at the person who pulls the trigger.

I wish I could murder without being caught.

Granted, you kill yourself.

I wish I could control time.

Sure but you have to do the murders with your penis.

I wish for more green tea : (

BRASS wrote:

Sure but you have to do the murders with your penis.

I wish for more green tea : (

granted, but it's stale green tea.

I wish for a machete.

It's a forever blunt machete.

I wish for more alcohol.

Granted, but it's rubbing alcohol.

I wish for an awesome mustache.

Granted, but everything you eat/drink gets stuck in it.

I wish I could hold my breath underwater forever.

Granted, but you can't hold your breath under-magma, you drown and burn to death. You melt and are never heard of again. Your friends forget about you and your family shrug their shoulders after a 5 minute ponder about where you've been.

I wish to live forever without ageing.

Granted however after the world ends you float forever through nothingness.

I wish for 5 free wishes that cannot be corrupted.

Granted, but all you can wish for is more wishes.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you can only fly in your dreams.

I wish I had a real job that paid.

Granted, but the job would suck, you would get minimum wage and you can't get a different job or be promoted.

I wish I could speak any language fluently.

Granted, you show off your mad Star Trek language skills to your girlfriend and she leaves you.

I wish I was rich.

Granted, but your first name is Richie.

I wish I could get a massage.

Granted, but you receive it from an old hairy fat man with big nasty fingernails.

I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

14hourlunchbreak wrote:

Granted, but you receive it from an old hairy fat man with big nasty fingernails.

I wish I was the smartest person in the world.

granted, but now you are Stephan Hawkings.

I wish I cure cancer by beating it.