Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you picked it up tails up so it's extremely unlucky. And it's canadian.

I wish I didn't have any pets.

Granted, you now have to clean their blood off your walls and clean their remains up.

I wish I could time travel at will and not get stuck.

Granted, but you travel to the future and get caught in a war between cyborgs and aliens. You don't make it out alive.

I wish I had a huge room full of books.

Granted. You are stuck in the middle of that room, unable to get out. You either suffocate , starve, or are crushed to death by the sheer weight of the books.

I wish I could go back in time with a tank, a helicopter, boxes of ammunition, guns, and fuel.

Too bad the time travel rips apart Newton's law of conservation of matter, and space-time is ripped to shreds. Way to go, asshole.

I wish that my penis was incredibly small.

granted... but you have to sit to pee...

I wish my cell phone had awesome reception

Granted, but you're paying 5,000 dollars a month for the bill.

I wish I could fly.

Granted. Unfortunately, you can only fly in one direction: Down.

I wish I knew WHY my Facebook account was disabled.